You know your child/adolescent/teen best. Fluctuations in functioning are to be expected; however, traumatic grief often brings extra layers of difficulty. Youth may require extra therapeutic support if you observe:

• Trouble sleeping or nightmares

• Difficulty separating from trusted adults

• Challenges attending school, extracurriculars, or other activities

• Social withdrawal

• Expresses thoughts of wanting to die or be with their person; self-harm

• Increased emotional outbursts, meltdowns, or irritability

A child’s development impacts their ability to understand death. Moreover, their ability to tolerate emotional pain often manifests as quickly dipping in and out of these moments of making sense of the death. For example, you may share about the death of someone, and a child will then ask if they can go play or returns to their video game. It isn’t that they aren’t being impacted; processing happens in small doses.

The therapeutic support we offer to youth is unique. We grant the child autonomy to choose the spaces they need to support them in their grief. This freedom is based on the premise that youth know their areas of strength and challenge and are actively working toward their fullest self. Through gentle turning toward emotions and experiences related to the death of their person, we support youth in paying attention to their body’s cues, to honor its wisdom and respond to their needs. We do not believe in “getting rid of” or making feelings “go away” because they will always be there. We want to grow our “emotional muscle” (Cacciatore, 2010) to learn how to carry them.

Parents/caregivers are often grieving right alongside their youth. It can be a daunting task to even get out of bed in the morning. Being emotionally available to your child in the ways you were prior to the death may not be possible right now. Oftentimes, youth are aware of this shift in your relationship and functioning, and they may unintentionally avoid their grief or focus on caretaking you. Getting your child to appointments drains already low energy, and we want you to receive support when taking the time to bring your youth.*

For some caregivers, it gives them peace of mind to know that their child has a space to express themselves, help them attune to their bodies and feelings, and move through nervous system arousal in ways that are unique to them. Plus, when your adolescent receives support here, we meet with you every 4-6 visits with your child. We will share what we are observing (while still maintaining the child’s privacy), what we are working on, and how we can collaborate together to help them function and integrate this death and experience into their life.

*See the question below for ways you can care for yourself while your child is in an individual appointment.

Unless a youth drives themselves, all caregivers must stay on site during their youth’s visit in case of emergency. You will be able to be in designated areas outdoors to support your own well-being in the ways that are most helpful. Carefarm staff are needed to interact with animals; however, sitting areas allow for animal observation. You can walk on the nature trails, sit by the water, or roam through the garden, if desired. We ask that you keep a respectful distance from your child while they may be engaging in counseling outdoors to maintain their privacy. We also have an indoor space you can comfortably wait for your youth with a beverage, snack, or read a book from our library.

Visitors to the farm can interact with animals; however, this will vary by age due to safety precautions. Adults and responsible youth ages 15+ are able to interact with all small and large animals (exceptions may apply), though this ultimately depends on the animals’ desire to engage with humans. Their autonomy and safety given previous experiences with humans are respected and honored.

Yes. We offer options for folks to visit the carefarm to engage in “carefarm time” where they will be outdoors and interact with animals. We also have casual events for traumatically bereaved youth and adults to hang out (stay tuned for details).

We also offer options for community members to visit the carefarm, whether you are grieving the death of someone or not. Opportunities such as:

• yoga at the carefarm

• community volunteer days to help with projects and tasks that support the animals’ well-being

• gardening events

• communal grief events to honor emotions related to personal, local, national, and global atrocities